a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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