woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
