Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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