dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize