could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
