i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
