I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize