the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
