just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
