I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
