So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
