Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
