So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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