i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
