she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
