just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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