Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
