if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
