I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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