Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
