until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
