I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
