no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
