bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
