Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
