i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
