apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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