My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
