haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
