Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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