I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
