in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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