Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize