yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
