If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize