:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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