Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
