sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
