You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
