Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
