why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
