Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize