How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
