At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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