What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
