Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
