ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize