Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
