This is not my ceiling
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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