My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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