Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
