you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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