theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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