party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
