In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
