Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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