Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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