I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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