when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
