I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
