He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
