i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
